Bet You Didn't Think I'd Find It...

That's right folks...I found it. I bet none of you expected me to actually do it, but I did! I sought after and discovered it. I searched the highest hidden caverns of the Himilayas, braving fierce winds and chilling snow storms. I went far into the the most treacherous terrains; I battled the Sahara, desertous and haunting, and the Icelandic volcanos. The jungles of South America weren't so bad, if you were careful to watch out for the masses of deadly snakes and angry tribal men. Yes, I did face dangers that should have sent me packing for Central Texas, but it isn't in me to tuck tail and run. No. I had a job to do, and I have done it. I have wrangled the elusive question that every person faces in life. The only question that is more important (and only slightly more difficult to answer) than "What's for breakfast"...I think I have discovered the meaning of life. Okay...it really isn't the MEANING of life, but it is a pretty good start. My quote of the day comes from a very wise man that I encountered during my studies at Angelo State University. One of my recent English professors is one of those men you has seen it all, done it all, and has the very detailed recollective story to prove it. He mentioned one day in class (I believe it was over an analysis of James Baldwin's "Sonny's Blues"...but who can really remember such menial details when they are in middle of being introduced to the meaning of life) that "In order to be loved by people, you have to truely love people". My first thought was :"Hot dog!" Because I really do think these cheezy things in my head, something that really isn't my fault--I'm a product of my raising. Where was I? Oh yes! I thought, "Hot dog! This means something." Everyone wants to be loved, of this I am positive. Who wakes up thinking, "Gee, if only I could make everyone I encounter today feel uncomfortable around me. Dream come true!" No. I'm certain this is NEVER the case. However, all to often I find myself in situations that are solely produced by my social awkwardness, which is produced by my desperate need to be likable!! Now, here is where the philosophical person would say something about how they are giving up their insatiable desire to be loved, abandoning the vanity of their past. I'm not going to do that. LONG LIVE THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLIES!! I hope to someday join you (please?) My solution to this often embarassing dilemma is LOVE. My theory is if you love people, they love you, and then it doesn't really matter if you are awkward or not. And just so we are clear, I don't think that being socially goofy is the worst thing a person can be...my impairment has made for many very interesting conversations! So for the last couple of months I have been living with this mantra, which is WAY longer than I usually carry around my mantras--so it is really quite impressive that I should still be holding on to it and I'm ashamed that I haven't shared it sooner. I tell it to myself in the supermarket, I recite it at social gatherings, and I now I am giving to you (all 9 of my wonderful followers!!) I hope you cherish it and nurture it into your own personal blessing. And please don't be stingy...you share it too! I'm usually very careful about encouraging "regifting" but I think this one will be okay; I don't think the recipient will mind.

Okay, now that I got all my philosophic brilliance out of my system (you are welcome), I have a question. Have any of you Texan ever seen wild standing cypress? It is a beautiful wildflower that I found while searching for wild blackberries in the backroads yesterday. Brilliant and red, these flowers perched in a mason jar are what every person should wake up to in the summer. One look will change your life. What a fantastic way to be reminded that God isn't just an engineer and scientist, but he is also an artist and poet. How blessed am I to be reminded? Too blessed.

Busy Body = Me

Wow. A whole week and no blogging. I am terribly sorry that I have slacked off of my blogging duties, but I'm a busy girl and this week has been the busiest!! I moved out of my apartment last weekend and the crazy rush of that has set the tone for my week. I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm beginning to wonder if life will EVER slow down...is this what it means to be a grown up? Don't get me wrong, I love the hustle and bustle that has become my life, but I have noticed a trend--each year my life moves faster and faster! It has raised many important questions: Does my brain deceive me? Am I getting more and more cynical and just labeling it as being "observant"? Am I desperately trying to hold on to my childhood? And can I really, I mean REALLY, pull off the skinny jeans look? I'm not stick thin and I don't really own any Ugg boots, nor do I really LIKE Ugg boots (are Ugg boots even "in" anymore? I can never tell. My sister generally handles all things fashion-related for me, and I hate to ask her endless questions over what looks right and what will make all the other pretty girls point and laugh). Okay, so maybe that last question has nothing to do with my crazy life, but it is an important question and I would love to have it answered. It is right up there with my question of "How does one combat a rapidly approaching caffeine addiction?" But back to the point I was trying to make....I am a busy person, which makes for some late nights and cranky mornings, but I am loving every minute of it. I am at a point where I have no idea where my life is going, but I know that it is traveling there at warp speed (Don't worry, I always travel with a seat belt)!
On a very different note...everyone is traveling this summer!! I am going to Australia and New Zealand, my friend Brittney will soon take off for China (insert Chinese music, preferably from the soundtrack of Mulan), my friend Sarah is leaving for Germany, Kali is in France AS I TYPE THIS, and my friend Brooke is on her way to Indiana--which is less glamorous, but how can you beat GOING HOME?! Turns out I have adventurous friends, who knew?!

Okay, so here is what I am curious about today: Laughter. I have spent the better part of this week surrounded by the giggles and grins of those well under the age of 12 (as I often do in the summer). What I have noticed is how their laughs are all, essentially, alike...yet so incredibly different. One is a little ray of sunshine that lights the room with a rosy smile that accompanies a bubbly giggle that could only come from a blond-headed angel (and thankfully makes me a very popular girl, no matter where I am) while another has a squeal that bursts out of hysterical laughter that seems far larger than his tiny frame. I have also come to realize that it isn't always a laugh that expresses someone's joy; it is often something much more hidden and far more exciting to discover! I have found that it is often in the brightening of the brightest green eyes in the world, or a grin that expresses more than a laugh ever could. Given this new observation, I am convinced that everyone has a different expression of laughter and I am intent on finding out each person I know and love's special way of displaying joy. I'm not sure how I will get this secret knowledge out of EVERYONE I am curious about, as most people over the age of 16 do not necessarily like to be tickled or chased around by the "Jamee-monster" (okay, most kids UNDER the age of 16 aren't particularly fond of it either, but it is really all I got). However, I have a goal: dig down deep and find the laughter in everyone I encounter this summer. Don't worry friends and family, I will not be carrying around a notebook and making scientific observations of the pitch and volume of your giggles! I am simply looking to find the joy in everyone I love.
As a side note: I happen to miss one particular laugh more than any other at the moment. I haven't seen my twin sister in 4 days. While I am not sobbing into my pillow while clutching her picture, I do miss her terribly. I talked to her today on the phone for the first time in 3 days. That's right, three whole days! Yes, I realize that this a short period and I will see her at the end of the week, but I can't help but feel a little blue (insert "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen...not Celine Dion). What you have to realize is that twin years are not like normal-person years. 3 days=30 years in twin years (a fact I would bet the majority of you did not know, but a very important piece of information to have--tell all your friends). Bottom line: I miss you SEEZTER, please don't make a habit of developing your career or following your dreams...I need you here with me.

Contemplative Sunday

"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." — Oscar Wilde

Okay, so I promised that I would do a "Sunday quote"and this is me keeping my promise (if only to MYSELF). I thought that I would start it off with my personal inspiration--Walt Whitman. Yes, I do realize that the quote above is, in fact, Oscar Wilde. While I was searching for the perfect Whitman quote to start off my weekly routine, I found this one and my brain screamed "A-ha!" I just finished another semester of school and I am amazed that, despite the heavily contemplative and philosophical nature of my English major/History minor degree, the things that I really remember and actually value are the conclusions I came to all by myself. Don't get me wrong, I have had some purely brilliant professors with ideas that are made of pure gold! All I am saying is that I'm MORE brilliant. Kidding. My mind pales in comparison to the smarties I have been exposed to these last three years. However, the things I feel the most connected to and remember most vividly are the connections I made with literature OUTSIDE the classroom. Granted, the reading was often assigned--but make no mistake, the reaction to it was all me! As far as my History education goes, I have had some wonderful professors and gained a wealth of knowledge sitting in the classroom, but I am fairly certain that my brainy-ness comes from somewhere else. Saturday mornings with a cup of coffee, my dad, and the History channel are the history lesson I remember best, and they are certainly the most dear to me. This leads me to another point: My dad. The man is a genius; I bow to his ever-expanding intellect. I know he wasn't TAUGHT all his infinite knowledge in a classroom, so where could he possibly have learned everything he knows (which is, literally, everything)? The only answer I could come up with is (are you ready?): HE JUST PICKED IT UP. That's right. It is simple but true. He is a naturally curious human being (guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree with me, huh?) and when he has an interest he dives in head first. It is an admirable quality and one that often gets us in trouble (with mom and often ourselves). I value my education; as a future educator, I have dedicated my life to the "classroom eduaction". But I know where I am going (intellectually) and I don't think it necessarily involves a classroom. Our real education is about the connections we make--it can be through the twists and turns that our lives take, our relationships with other people, or the curiosities that consume us. I hope my curiosities take me far and away and make me smarter than an astro-phyisicist!

PS: Shout out to my TWO followers!! Malyssa and Brooke...love you guys!

Here I Am!

Okay, so I am new to blogging (my friend Brooke has inspired me). I did not think I would ever be a BLOGGER, mostly because I really had no idea what it was, but here I am. So, in honor of my first blog post, because I do not have a champagne bottle to break over my computer, I am dedicating this post to NEW BEGINNINGS. I am not one to try new things or come busting out of my comfort-zone, and I think that it is an admirable quality. No really, hear me out! I don't have any tattoos I regret and I will be completing my Bachelor's degree in record time. This is surely a product of my focus and resistance to trying new things. However, I have set my mind to doing something new...I am embracing change, and this blog will be my testimony to it! Why are we so afraid of change? I know why I am...it is inherited. Not my fault. Not at all. My mother is a chronic worrier and embraces change like the Europeans embraced the Black Plague in the Dark Ages. I do not wish to live in fear and dread. A small Italian cottage surrounded by wildflowers with a cup of tea in my hand, yes. Fear, no. Illustration: I went to a concert last night, Brandon Rhyder--one of my absolute favorites (I adore Texas Country). When it was over, as we were walking out the door, I spy the object of my adoration standing at the back wall. My jaw hits the floor. I keep walking. My friend Tyler stops to get his picture made and in my head I am thinking "Me too! I want one!". But fear, my friends, is a powerful beast. I have no picture of Brandon Rhyder by my side. Bummer. And if you were to look closely the photo of my friend Tyler and the wonderfulness that is Brandon Rhyder--really, REALLY close--you can see the reflection in thier eyes, which is me with my eyes the size of saucers and in a paralysis of awe. On my way home, I vowed not to be afraid anymore. When I go see Wade Bowen...there will be a photo!
It is going to be an insane year of massive changes and I plan to record them here. As I am obsessed with the words of those more genius than I am, I also considered having "Quote Sunday" (new pithy and dynamic phrase for this will be available at a later date). However, I am not sure I can be as dedicated, or un-forgetful, as my friend Brooke with her weekly "Double Tap Tuesdays" and "Mixed Tape Mondays"...for anyone looking for an artistic and whimsical escape, "On the wings of a Dove" is the place to do it. Here is hoping that I can keep this up.